10 Ridiculous Thoughts I had in the Run-Up to My Wedding

What if I get appendicitis the morning of the wedding? What if someone breaks into our hotel room and steals my wedding dress?

I’m usually pretty good at suppressing stupid random thoughts like this that seem to frequently enter my weird little brain. However, in the run-up to our wedding I was on fire. I was non-stop with extreme worry-wart thoughts whizzing in and out of my head, keeping me awake at night. Looking back I can laugh at it, but hands up I was actually thinking through every unlikely scenario from A-Z until the week before our wedding.  I know I know, my bad…SOZ!

Keeping in the spirit of helping my bridelings, here is a run-down of my top 10 out-there most ridiculous thoughts and worries, along with top tips on how to deal with bat-shit crazy wedding worries:

1. What if I get appendicitis the morning of the wedding?  Said no-one ever. Except me. Well, I will just suck it up, I thought. They can hang on in there a few hours, it’ll be fine. I’ll last as long as I can. Or maybe I’ll go into hospital and then see if I can get straight out for the reception. Oh holy wow…SO embarrassed that these thoughts even came out of my actual brain. Whilst I’m sure there is some poor love out there who has had to deal with this, the probability of this being you is approximately a zillion to one. It hasn’t happened in the bazillion and five days you’ve been on this earth, so it won’t happen now. Just make sure you’ve got wedding insurance ladies. You’ll be fiiiine.

2.What if someone breaks into our hotel room and steals my wedding dress? Never mind my personal safety, I was only worried about my beloved dress. Priorities in check as always. In my defence, this happened because I went out the morning of the wedding to get my hair ‘did with my squad, and turns out we didn’t close the hotel door properly. Oops. Thankfully my mum saw it and closed it about 10 mins later, but I did have some flash thoughts of worry. Surely, in that 10-minute gap, someone was bound to have known there was a Charlie Brear dress in there, bound to have broken in and bound to have stolen my dress and probably wearing it on the tube this minute. Bitch, please! I think the world has bigger fish to fry than steal my dress.

Whilst I’m on the subject of dresses, I was also worried about dropping something down my dress/tearing it. If you’re anything like me then you’ll be so paranoid about it that you’ll be over-cautious and therefore have nothing to worry about. And if you’re worried then your squad will be even more worried and will be mega careful. Don’t sweat! No really, don’t sweat.

Thief 2
Beware those well-known wedding dress thieves, who wander the hotel corridors early in the morning

3.What if I sleep in and leave myself 10 minutes to get ready?  Of all the mornings to sleep in and ignore your alarm, this really isn’t one. I was up at 7am, wide awake. If only mornings getting ready for work were that alert. Set those 5 alarms if you want to put your mind at ease, but trust me, this will be a day when you’re not going to sleep in. Cross this off the worry list.

4.What if I forget Mr DTE’s name? 

‘Repeat after me: I Ross’
‘I, Ross’
‘Take thee, Emily’
‘Take thee, Rachel’

I love Friends, but this little scene made me paranoid for the vows part of our service. It’s not as if there is another man in my life, but Mr DTE is a man of many names, and I was worried I would say the wrong one…or a mixture of them all perhaps. I mean, pretty huge worry in the grand scheme of things. If only your biggest worry every day was saying your husband’s name hey? Get. A. Grip, Jojo.

5. What if the weather is apocalyptic? ‘There’s no point worrying about the weather’, says every married person who had lovely weather on their wedding day. But they have a point, there’s no point worrying about it. Just put that time into hatching up a plan b. We got some lovely (and cheap) transparent plastic brollies just in case, and made a plan at our venue just in case the heavens opened.

I actually didn’t look at the weather until two days before our wedding, as it was in London and the weather prediction changes on average every 5 minutes. It’s just a waste of time and will give your thumb RSI refreshing the weather app page. By the time I looked it up, the forecast was pretty accurate and off we went. So yes, there is no point worrying about the weather, but get your back-up plan together so that you don’t have to stress if you wake up and it looks like this:

Rain 2

6. What if I throw up with nerves? How ridiculous, I hear you say. No-one would do that. Apart from (nearly) me. As you probably saw in my first post about the wedding (So….I got married!), as Mr DTE was looking longingly into my eyes at the altar, I was planning how I would escape and pass out without anyone seeing. I don’t know what came over me. My cheesy-grinny-prance down the aisle and into the church left me a) quite sweaty and b) with a bit of a rush of blood to the head, as I actually thought I was going to pass out. My darling sis had to pass me a fan and some water. DRAMA QUEEN! Ah, I’m so embarrassed about it all, but thankfully it was pretty short-lived and I whipped myself into shape before the vows.

My only recommendation here is to drink lots of water and eat as much as you can that morning. I don’t mean like 5 roast dinners, but a big fry up would do the trick. I couldn’t really manage much at all and I wished I’d have forced it as I just didn’t have enough fuel in me to keep going after the big adrenaline rush of walking down the aisle. Stock up, ladies. Bubbles and sandwiches, that’s all you need.


7. What if I cry when walking down the aisle? Well, then you cry. You can’t suppress your feelings, bridelings. For some brides, walking down the aisle is incredibly emotional. For some, if you don’t have the man (or woman) you always imagined and hoped would hold your arm walking down that aisle then I can’t imagine how emotional it must be.

I am incredibly lucky to have been holding onto my Dad’s arm as hard as I could, and had nothing but happiness running through me at that moment. So I smiled my way down that aisle with the biggest cheesy grin my face has ever managed. I don’t think you have any idea how you’ll feel in that moment until you get to it. Your wife/hubs-to-be and your loved ones will just be so happy to see you, the best advice I would offer is to just go with it.

Screen Shot 2016-08-19 at 17.00.43.png
Photo credit: the lovely and wonderful We Heart Pictures

8. What if the venue gets flooded/trashed/ruined somehow: This was a ridiculous one. Not much to say about this other than I’m sure it won’t. The location of our venues in London were not exactly on a floodplain nor an earthquake fault line, so generally I think it’s a pretty safe one.

That said, I would recommend wedding insurance (we got ours with John Lewis and our package was under £100). I have heard some awful stories about venues not being ready, or having to shut etc, but not with anyone I know first-hand so I think it’s very rare. PHEW. It’ll be fine!

9. What if no-one laughs (when they’re supposed to) at my speech?  I think this is a pretty common worry for anyone giving a speech at a wedding. However, just think this is the best crowd you’re ever going to get. Everyone is on your side, willing you to do well. If you can’t tell a joke and get a laugh in front of this audience, well then I’m afraid you’re probably not very funny. These guys will even give you sympathy laughs if you need them.

Screen Shot 2016-08-20 at 23.18.14.png
So many LOLZ. Guests are almost rolling on the floor with laughter.                                      Photo credit: We Heart Pictures

I think I was perhaps a little more nervous as women don’t ‘traditionally’ give speeches so some people weren’t expecting it. However, since it’s 2016 and it’s becoming more acceptable for women to have a brain and do those things that men do, like speak in public, I was keen to dispel those myths and break those ancient traditions. Kapow. I’m not a natural public speaker, so it took me a little while to get going, but as soon as I told my first funny little story and heard some laughs and saw some smiley faces, it was pretty WOW! Such an amazing feeling, bridelings. I was then on fire (in my head) and there was no stopping me. I always think some of the best things I’ve ever done in my life are the things that have given me nerves and butterflies, so I’m pleased I pushed through and just did it.


10. What if someone shouts ‘YES! ME!’ when asked ‘If anyone knows of any lawful impediment why Mr and Mrs DTE cannot be joined in holy matrimony?’ All I can say is that a) we don’t live in Coronation Street and b) in real life this is such a small part of the wedding that I actually can’t even remember them asking this. Maybe I was too busy planning my sick route, but honestly I don’t remember. They make such a big deal of this on TV, but everyone is at your wedding because they love you. Have you ever heard of any person actually standing up at this point in someone else’s wedding? Nope, me neither.

Getting some perspective: Just before our wedding, one of the most important members of our wedding party nearly couldn’t make it due to ill health. It was an awful time and it put everything into perspective for us. If your biggest worry if a bit of drizzle and a tummy of nerves, well join many thousands of other brides in the UK. But don’t sweat the small random stuff. Just concentrate on getting everyone you love in one room, and therein should lie the end to your worries.

Peace out, bridelings. Have a super Sunday of lying in bed and watching all those energetic sports legends do what they do best and win us some medals whilst we chill. Go Team GB! 

Jojo x

Posted by

I'm a 32 year-old newlywed bride, living in London. I recently got married (July 2016) and am here to spread wedding joy and worldly wedding advice to fellow bridelings who don't want their weddings to take over their lives. Let's laugh (nervously) in the face of bonkers wedding planning!

4 thoughts on “10 Ridiculous Thoughts I had in the Run-Up to My Wedding

  1. Congratulations on your big day!! You looked gorgeous and this blog is fabulous – getting married in Oct and this is such a help! Glad there are other DTE brides out there!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah thanks C! What a lovely message, and so glad to hear this is a help! Hope all your planning is going well – wedmin nearly over! Just drop me a line if there’s anything I can help with. Your day will be juuuuust perfect, Jojo x


  2. Really like this, there are a few I’ve worried about so thanks for the answers. Our wedding is in July, I had a worry about the weather then realised the same as you said, I can not change it, I am not Chinese government and able to do cloud seeding so I’m sure it’ll be fine. And if it does rain heavily then it’ll be memorable


    1. Thanks Charlotte, so glad to hear this has been helpful. Weather is such a big old worry isn’t it…but it’ll definitely all be ok on the day. Of course it will! Big old brollies will always do the trick…and can make some pretty amazing snaps. Winner. Hope the rest of the planning is going well? x


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